A woman with a cup of tea on a window seat at dusk, looking out at the sea, one brass lamp lit

Calm · 15 min

A list of what steadies you

Written on a good day, read on a hard one: a short list of the people, places and small acts that tend to bring you back.

15 minutesFrom the library, free to readFour steps

On a hard day, it is difficult to remember what helps. The mind narrows, and good ideas feel out of reach. A short list, written while you are steady, is a note from your better days to your harder ones.

The steps

Four small steps,in your own time.

  1. On a calm day, take a card or a note on your phone and write a heading: when it gets hard.

  2. Write three small things that tend to help you: a walk round the block, a certain song, a shower, ten minutes outside, a cup of tea at the window.

  3. Write two people you could contact, with their numbers, and one place, at home or nearby, where you feel a little safer.

  4. Keep it where you will find it, in your wallet, by the bed or as the first note on your phone, and read it through once a month to keep it true.

The reason

Why it helps

Under stress, thinking clearly is harder than usual, so a plan made in advance saves you from having to invent one in the moment. Seeing your own words, in your own handwriting, can also be a reminder that you have come through hard days before.

A gentle variation

If writing is not for you, take three photos instead: a person, a place, something you do, and keep them in one album on your phone. If you care for someone, you might help them make their own list, in their words.

One hand resting over another on a wooden table

WE · TRIBE

Try itwith someone.

Show your list to one of the people on it, so they know they are on it and what they could do. Some people swap lists with a friend.

Try it today

Today, write three things that help you on a hard day and two people you could call, and keep the card in your wallet.

Add it to your day

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