Life events · 30 min
Going through their things
Sorting the belongings of someone who has died, or moved into care, slowly and in small sessions, with three boxes and no rush.
Clothes in the wardrobe, letters in a drawer, a coat on the hook: belongings carry people. Sorting them can feel impossible, and sometimes there is pressure to do it quickly. Unless a home must be cleared by a date, there is no right time. Small sessions, with a simple system, can make it bearable.
The steps
Four small steps,in your own time.
Choose one small area to start, a drawer or one shelf, and give yourself an hour at most.
Use three boxes: keep, give away, and decide later. Anything you are unsure about goes into decide later, without guilt.
Set aside anything that looks like a document, such as letters, bank papers, a will, photos, and put it in one folder to go through separately.
Stop while you still have some energy left, and do something kind for yourself afterwards: a walk, a cup of tea, a call to a friend.
The reason
Why it helps
Breaking a huge task into small pieces stops it overwhelming you. The decide-later box removes the pressure to make every choice at once. Keeping papers apart means important documents are not lost, and short sessions leave room for the feelings that will come.
A gentle variation
If the person is still alive and has moved into care, involve them if they would like to be, even by phone or with photos, and ask what they want kept. If you cannot face it yet, close the door and come back another month.
WE · TRIBE
Try itwith someone.
Ask someone to help, a friend or relative, ideally someone who will listen to the stories that come up. Some families find it helps to keep one item each and share memories as they go.
Try it today
Today, if you are ready, open one drawer and sort it into keep, give away and decide later.
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