Four friends of different ages walking arm in arm along a stone street at dusk, one carrying flowers

Together · 30 min

A family screen agreement

A few simple rules about phones and screens, agreed together and written down, so the arguments get shorter.

30 minutesFrom the library, free to readFour steps

Screens can bring children friendship, learning and fun, and also arguments, late nights and worry. Rules handed down tend to be fought; rules agreed together tend to stick a little better. A short written agreement gives everyone the same starting point.

The steps

Four small steps,in your own time.

  1. Choose a calm time and sit down together. Ask what everyone likes about their screens, and what worries them. Listen to the children first.

  2. Agree three or four simple rules: for example, no phones at meals, screens out of bedrooms at night, and ask before downloading a new app.

  3. Include the adults too. Children notice when the rules only apply to them.

  4. Write the agreement down, put it somewhere everyone can see it, and agree a date in a month's time to look at it again.

The reason

Why it helps

Talking about screens together helps children understand the reasons behind the rules, and gives them a voice. Keeping devices out of bedrooms at night supports better sleep. And having it written down means fewer arguments about what was said.

A gentle variation

For younger children, keep it to two rules and draw pictures. For teenagers, let them suggest the rules and negotiate, and agree how they can come to you if something online upsets or frightens them.

One hand resting over another on a wooden table

WE · TRIBE

Try itwith someone.

If children spend time in more than one home, or with grandparents, share the agreement with the other adults, so the rules feel the same in every house.

Try it today

This week, sit down as a family and agree three screen rules, including one for the adults.

Add it to your day

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