One hand resting over another on a wooden table

Calm · 20 min

Find the songsfrom their good years

Ask someone you love which songs they danced to when they were young, and play them together.

20 minutesFrom the library, free to readFour steps

For many people, the songs from their teens and twenties stay close for life. This practice is a way to spend time with someone that does not need much talk, and often brings some.

The steps

Four small steps,in your own time.

  1. Ask the person, or someone who knows them well, about the songs from their younger years: a first dance, a song from a wedding, a band they saw.

  2. Write down three or four. If they cannot remember names, ask the year and the place, and look up what was playing then.

  3. Find the songs and play them in the room together, not too loud.

  4. Watch and listen. If they want to talk, let them. If they want to sing, sing along. If they want quiet, give them that too.

The reason

Why it helps

Songs carry memories in a way that ordinary questions do not. A tune can bring back a place, a person or a feeling that a conversation would not reach. Sharing it gives the two of you something to be in together, which matters most on days when talking is hard.

A gentle variation

If the person cannot tell you, ask a brother, a sister or an old friend. If it is your own good years you want, make the list for yourself.

Neighbours setting a long table in a green garden

WE · TRIBE

Try itwith someone.

Make the list with the family or the circle, so everyone can play it when they visit. A shared list means the visit has a beginning.

Try it today

Ask one person which songs they loved when they were young, find two of them, and play them together today.

Add it to your day

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