YouAsk Kim
Four friends of different ages walking arm in arm along a stone street at dusk, one carrying flowers

Together · 15 min

Getting an older child ready

Help an older child get ready for a new baby with simple talk, a book or two, and a job that is theirs.

15 minutesFrom the library, free to readFour steps
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A new baby changes things for older children too. Some are excited, some are worried, and many are both. Preparing them gently, in ways that suit their age, can help them feel included rather than replaced.

The steps

Four small steps,in your own time.

  1. Tell them in simple words, at a time that suits their age. Very young children may need to hear it closer to the time; older ones may want to know sooner.

  2. Read a picture book about a new baby together, or look at photos of when they were a baby and talk about what babies are like.

  3. Give them a real part to play: choosing a toy for the baby, helping pack a bag, picking a song to sing to the baby.

  4. Plan who will look after them during the birth, and tell them in advance so it is not a surprise.

The reason

Why it helps

Children often cope better with change when they know what to expect. Being given a real part can help an older child feel important. Planning their care in advance means one less worry for you, and less uncertainty for them.

A gentle variation

If your older child has additional needs, ask their preschool, school or nurse for ideas that suit them. Keep some of their routines the same after the baby comes, and set aside a little time that is just theirs.

One hand resting over another on a wooden table

WE · TRIBE

Try itwith someone.

Ask a grandparent, aunt, uncle or close friend to plan a special outing with your older child around the time the baby arrives.

Make it a plan in HIVELIVE, with WE

Try it today

This week, read a book about new babies with your older child, or show them photos from when they were born.

Add it to your day

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