Four friends of different ages walking arm in arm along a stone street at dusk, one carrying flowers

Together · 15 min

Noticing a young carer

When a child helps look after someone at home, they need their own time, their own words, and someone who knows.

15 minutesFrom the library, free to readFour steps

When someone in the family is ill, disabled or struggling, children often help, without anyone quite deciding they should. They fetch things, keep an eye on a brother or sister, or worry quietly. A little help is fine. But young carers also need to be children, and to know that someone sees what they do.

The steps

Four small steps,in your own time.

  1. Notice what your child does to help: practical jobs, keeping someone company, or simply worrying. Write it down for yourself.

  2. Thank them, and tell them it is not their job to fix things. The adults are in charge of the caring.

  3. Protect some time each week that is just theirs: with friends, at a club, or with you, doing something that has nothing to do with care.

  4. Tell their school, so teachers understand if they are tired or late. Ask whether there is a local young carers service; many places have one.

The reason

Why it helps

Young carers can feel proud and useful, and also isolated, tired or anxious. Having their role noticed, and some time protected for themselves, helps them keep up with friends and school. Telling the school means they have another adult on their side.

A gentle variation

If your child does not want to talk about it, start by doing something side by side, a walk, a drive, cooking, and let the conversation come. A short note in their lunchbox can say what a talk cannot.

One hand resting over another on a wooden table

WE · TRIBE

Try itwith someone.

Ask another adult, a relative, friend or neighbour, to take your child out now and then, so they have time away from home and a grown-up they can talk to who is not caught up in the care.

Try it today

This week, tell one child who helps at home what you have noticed, and plan one hour that is just theirs.

Add it to your day

More like this

More from VIVE Together,for real days.

All of VIVE Together
Friends at a rooftop dinner at dusk

Together · 3 min

A meal shared

Food eaten with another person feeds something that food eaten standing at the counter does not.

Two people on a sofa at dusk, a brass lamp lit behind them

Together · 3 min

A conversation

One real exchange a day, where you say how it is and someone hears it, does more for you than a hundred messages.

Two people on a sofa by a window, the city lit at dusk

Together · 10 min

Find your next shared yes

Choose something to enjoy together without guessing what the other person wants: each of you names three, and you look for the overlap.