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Four friends of different ages walking arm in arm along a stone street at dusk, one carrying flowers

Together · 2 min

Noticing the effort

Praise what your child did, the trying, the sticking with it, rather than labels like clever or good.

2 minutesFrom the library, free to readFour steps
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Praise is one of the simplest things a parent gives, and the words we choose matter. Telling a child exactly what they did, rather than giving them a label, helps them see what made the difference and encourages them to keep trying when things are hard.

The steps

Four small steps,in your own time.

  1. Catch a moment when your child is trying: practising, tidying, being kind to a sibling, finishing something difficult.

  2. Describe what you saw: you kept going even when that puzzle was hard. Or: you shared your snack without being asked.

  3. Keep it short and specific, and leave out the comparison to anyone else.

  4. Aim for a few of these each day, especially on days when there has been a lot of correcting.

The reason

Why it helps

Specific praise tells a child what to do more of. Praising effort, rather than fixed labels, may help children see that they can get better with practice. Noticing good moments on a hard day also helps rebalance the day for both of you.

A gentle variation

Teenagers may squirm at praise, so keep it brief and private, or write it in a message. For a child who struggles with something, notice the smallest steps.

One hand resting over another on a wooden table

WE · TRIBE

Try itwith someone.

Ask another adult in your child's life, a grandparent, a teacher, a coach, to share one thing they have noticed your child doing well, and pass it on.

Make it a plan in HIVELIVE, with WE

Try it today

Today, tell your child one specific thing you saw them try hard at.

Add it to your day

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