Four friends of different ages walking arm in arm along a stone street at dusk, one carrying flowers

Together · 5 min

Saying how you really feel

Pregnancy and the weeks after birth can bring big feelings. Saying them out loud, to someone who can help, is part of looking after yourself.

5 minutesFrom the library, free to readFour steps

People often expect pregnancy and a new baby to feel happy, and sometimes they do. But it is also common to feel worried, low, numb, irritable or overwhelmed. These feelings can happen to anyone, including partners, and they are not a sign of failing.

The steps

Four small steps,in your own time.

  1. Once a day, ask yourself one question: how am I really doing today? Give an honest answer, even if only to yourself.

  2. If the answer is often low or worried, tell one person you trust. You can start with: I have not been feeling like myself.

  3. At your next appointment, tell your midwife, health visitor, nurse or doctor how you have been feeling. They ask about this because it matters, and they can help.

  4. If you notice it in your partner, ask them gently how they are, and listen without trying to fix it straight away.

The reason

Why it helps

Big changes in the body, in sleep and in daily life can affect mood. When feelings stay hidden, they often grow heavier. Saying them out loud lets other people help, and lets the professionals looking after you offer the right support early.

A gentle variation

If it is hard to say in person, write it down and hand over the note, or send a message before the appointment. You can also ask whether there are local parent groups or peer support where others understand.

One hand resting over another on a wooden table

WE · TRIBE

Try itwith someone.

Agree with your partner or a close friend that either of you can say: today is a hard day. No explanation needed, just a cup of tea and a little help.

Try it today

Today, ask yourself honestly how you are doing, and tell one person the answer.

Add it to your day

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