YouAsk Kim
Four friends of different ages walking arm in arm along a stone street at dusk, one carrying flowers

Together · 20 min · For caregivers

Telling your manager you are a caregiver

A short, prepared conversation that can make working while caring more possible, on your terms.

20 minutesFrom the library, free to readFour steps
Save for laterTry it today

Many people who care for someone keep it hidden at work, for fear of being seen as less committed. But managers cannot help with what they do not know. A planned conversation, saying only what you choose to share, can open up more flexibility than people expect.

The steps

Four small steps,in your own time.

  1. Before the conversation, write down what you want to share and what you want to keep private. You do not have to give medical details about the person you care for.

  2. Decide what would help most: a different start time, working from home on certain days, being able to take calls, short notice for appointments.

  3. Ask for a private meeting. Explain briefly, then say what would help and how you would make sure your work still gets done.

  4. Ask what support your workplace already offers for caregivers, and follow up the conversation with a short written summary of what you agreed.

The reason

Why it helps

Clear, prepared requests are easier for a manager to say yes to than a general sense that things are hard. Many workplaces have policies on flexible working or leave for caregivers that people simply do not know about. A written summary protects both of you and makes the arrangement easier to keep.

A gentle variation

If you are not ready to talk to your manager, start with your workplace's staff policies or human resources team, or a trusted colleague. You can also check what rights to flexible working or time off for caregivers apply where you live.

One hand resting over another on a wooden table

WE · TRIBE

Try itwith someone.

If you know other caregivers at work, consider starting a small, informal group to share tips. Workplaces often respond better to a few voices than to one.

Make it a plan in HIVELIVE, with WE

Try it today

Today, write down three things that would make working while caring easier, and one thing you would want to keep private.

Add it to your day

More like this

More from VIVE Together,for real days.

All of VIVE Together
One hand resting over another on a wooden table

Together · 3 min

Asking for help

People want to help and do not know how; a specific ask is the kindest thing you can give them.

Two people close on a sofa, the city lit behind them

Together · 3 min

The first week

The week after a serious diagnosis has its own weather; here is what to hold and what to let go.

A calm bedroom in daylight

Together · 3 min

Sleep when you are on call

When you are listening for someone all night, the aim is rest you can trust, not sleep you cannot.