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Four friends of different ages walking arm in arm along a stone street at dusk, one carrying flowers

Together · 10 min

Ten minutes of their choosing

Ten minutes a day where a child chooses what you do together, and you put everything else down.

10 minutesFrom the library, free to readFour steps
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Children notice when we are half there. Ten minutes of full attention, where they choose the activity and you follow, can do more for a busy week than a whole Saturday spent distracted.

The steps

Four small steps,in your own time.

  1. Tell your child: every day, there are ten minutes that are yours, and you choose what we do.

  2. When the time comes, put your phone in another room and set a timer so you are not watching the clock.

  3. Let them lead. Follow their game, their rules, their story. Describe what they are doing rather than asking lots of questions or teaching.

  4. When the timer goes, thank them, and say what you enjoyed. Keep it at roughly the same time each day if you can.

The reason

Why it helps

Short spells of undivided attention tell a child they matter, in a language they understand. Letting them lead gives them a rare taste of being in charge, which often means fewer battles elsewhere in the day. And for the adult, ten minutes is small enough to keep, even in a week that is full of caring or working.

A gentle variation

With a teenager, offer a lift, a walk to the shop or a shared snack instead, and let them choose the music. Teenagers often talk most when sitting side by side rather than face to face.

One hand resting over another on a wooden table

WE · TRIBE

Try itwith someone.

If there is more than one child, give each their own ten minutes, even if that means five on busy days. If another adult is at home, take turns, so each child gets time with each of you.

Make it a plan in HIVELIVE, with WE

Try it today

Today, give one child ten minutes with your phone in another room, doing whatever they choose.

Add it to your day

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