Four friends of different ages walking arm in arm along a stone street at dusk, one carrying flowers

Together · 20 min

A calm-down corner at home

A small, soft place in the house where anyone, child or adult, can go to settle when feelings get big.

20 minutesFrom the library, free to readFour steps

Big feelings need somewhere to go. A calm-down corner is not a punishment and not a time-out. It is a soft, welcoming spot that anyone in the family can choose when they need a few minutes to settle.

The steps

Four small steps,in your own time.

  1. Choose a quiet corner and make it soft: a cushion or beanbag, a blanket, perhaps a small lamp.

  2. Add a few calming things your child chooses: a soft toy, a book, something to squeeze, a picture that makes them feel safe.

  3. Explain it at a calm moment: this is a place anyone can go when they feel too cross, sad or wobbly. You can go there, and so can I.

  4. Use it yourself, out loud: I feel cross, I am going to sit in the calm corner for a few minutes. Afterwards, talk about what happened, gently.

The reason

Why it helps

Children learn to manage feelings by watching adults do it. A calm place that they choose, rather than are sent to, helps them learn that feelings can be settled, not just stopped. When adults use it too, it becomes a family habit rather than a rule for children.

A gentle variation

In a small home, a basket with the same calming things in it can be taken to any quiet spot. Older children may prefer their own room with headphones and a rule that nobody knocks for ten minutes.

One hand resting over another on a wooden table

WE · TRIBE

Try itwith someone.

Make the corner together on a weekend afternoon, letting each child add one thing. Talk about what helps each of you feel calm; you may be surprised by their answers.

Try it today

Today, choose one quiet corner and put one cushion and one calming thing there with your child.

Add it to your day

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