Together · 3 min · For caregivers
The night shift
The hours between midnight and six have their own rules, for the one who sits up.
Someone has to be awake, or nearly, through the night. Tonight it is you. This is for the hours themselves, not for the sleep around them.
The steps
One small step,in your own time.
Before it gets dark, walk through the room where you will sit tonight and put everything both of you might need within arm's reach of the chair, including a blanket and something quiet for you to do.
Set the room before dark
Everything you might need in the night should be in reach while it is still light: water for both of you, the medicines and a list of when they are due, a torch or a dim lamp, tissues, a bowl, clean sheets within reach, your phone charging, a warm layer for you. The chair should be the comfortable one. If you will be dozing, bring a pillow and a blanket for yourself, not just for them.
A night prepared in daylight is half as long.
Lights low
Use the smallest light that does the job. A torch pointed at the floor, a lamp with a cloth over it, the landing light through a cracked door. Bright light wakes you both fully and makes getting back to dozing much harder. Your eyes will adjust to very little.
Do the small jobs in batches
If you are up anyway for a medicine, check the water, straighten the sheet and empty what needs emptying in the same trip. Then sit back down. Each separate trip wakes you more than the job needs.
Keep yourself company
Nights are long and the mind goes to dark places in them. Have something quiet for yourself: a podcast at low volume in one earbud, a dull book, knitting, a crossword. Not the phone's news or social feeds, which will keep you awake and make you feel worse. If you pray or meditate, this is a good hour for it. If you do not, slow breathing out longer than in is the same shape without the words.
When they are awake too
Nights are when people who are ill often want to talk, or are frightened, or are simply bored. You do not have to fix anything. Sit close, keep your voice low, hold a hand if that is welcome. "I'm here" covers most of it. If they are confused, which is common at night with many illnesses, keep the lights low, say who you are and where they are, and do not argue with what they see.
Write it down
Before you hand over or go to sleep, note the night in the week book: what time they woke, what you gave, what worried you. The morning shift will thank you, and so will the care team.
And in the morning
Hand over properly if you can, then sleep. Not tidy, not calls. Blinds down, phone off, the hours back.
WE · TRIBE
Try itwith someone.
Tell one person you are trying this today, and ask if they would like to do it with you. Small things done side by side are easier to keep.
Try it today
Tonight, try: set up the room while it is light, pick the smallest lamp, and bring something quiet for yourself to the chair.
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