Four friends of different ages walking arm in arm along a stone street at dusk, one carrying flowers

Together · 10 min

Visitors with a job

Welcome visitors in the early weeks on your terms: one at a time, for a set time, and with a job to do.

10 minutesFrom the library, free to readFour steps

Friends and family want to meet the baby, and that is lovely. But a stream of visitors can be exhausting when you are tired and still getting to know your baby. A few simple rules, said kindly, let people help rather than add to the load.

The steps

Four small steps,in your own time.

  1. Decide what you want: how many visitors a day, how long, and which times work best.

  2. When people ask to visit, give a time and a length: Thursday at two for an hour would be lovely.

  3. Give each visitor a job: bring a meal, fold the laundry, hold the baby while you shower, walk the dog.

  4. Ask your nurse or doctor what to say to visitors who are unwell, and say it in advance.

The reason

Why it helps

Clear times protect your rest. A job lets visitors feel useful and gives you real help. Saying what you want in advance avoids awkward moments at the door.

A gentle variation

If you find it hard to say no, ask your partner or a friend to be the one who arranges visits. If you would like more company, not less, say that too; some new parents want visitors every day.

One hand resting over another on a wooden table

WE · TRIBE

Try itwith someone.

Send a short message to close family and friends with your visiting plan, and ask your partner to help keep to it.

Try it today

Today, write down one job you could give the next person who visits.

Add it to your day

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