Together · 20 min
What matters to you for the birth
A short page of what matters most to you about the birth, written down and talked through with your midwife.
Birth rarely goes exactly to plan, and that is all right. But knowing what matters most to you, and having said it to the people caring for you, can help you feel more involved in decisions on the day. One page, talked through with your midwife, is enough.
The steps
Four small steps,in your own time.
Sit somewhere quiet and write down what matters to you: who you want with you, how you would like to be spoken to, what helps you feel calm, anything you are worried about.
Write down your questions about the options too, without trying to answer them yourself.
Take the page to an appointment and talk it through with your midwife or doctor. They can explain the options where you plan to give birth and what might change things on the day.
Keep a copy with your notes, and give one to your birth partner.
The reason
Why it helps
Writing things down can make worries more manageable and help you think about what you really want. Talking it through with your midwife means you get accurate information for your situation. A birth partner who knows what matters to you can speak up for you when you need them to.
A gentle variation
If writing is hard, record a voice note or ask your birth partner to write while you talk. If you have had a difficult birth before, or are anxious about this one, tell your midwife; many maternity teams can offer extra time to talk.
WE · TRIBE
Try itwith someone.
Read the page through with your birth partner, and ask them what they would find helpful to know before the day.
Try it today
This week, write down three things that matter to you about the birth, and take them to your next appointment.
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