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A man in a linen shirt choosing a camel jacket from a small oak rail of clothes in morning light

Wardrobe · 10 min

Let them choose what they wear

Two outfits laid out, and a real choice between them. A small daily way to keep someone you care for in charge of how they look.

10 minutesFrom the library, free to readFour steps
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When you care for someone, it can be quicker to choose their clothes for them. But how we dress is part of who we are, and losing that choice can feel like losing a little more of yourself. Offering a simple, real choice each day keeps that part in their hands.

The steps

Four small steps,in your own time.

  1. The evening before or in the morning, pick two complete outfits you know are comfortable, suitable for the weather and easy to put on.

  2. Lay them out side by side, or hold them up, and ask which one they would like today. Give them time to decide.

  3. Go with their choice, even if it is not the one you would pick. If something is unsuitable, offer a different pair of choices rather than refusing.

  4. Notice what they choose over time, and their favourite colours and clothes, and keep those near the front.

The reason

Why it helps

Making choices, even small ones, helps people keep a sense of control and identity. Two options are easier to choose between than a full wardrobe, especially for someone who is tired, unwell or living with memory loss. Wearing something they chose can lift mood and make dressing smoother.

A gentle variation

If choosing between outfits is too much, offer a choice of one item, like which cardigan or which scarf. If they can still choose freely, simply ask what they would like to wear and help them find it.

Two friends on a stone wall after a walk

WE · TRIBE

Try itwith someone.

Ask about the clothes as you go: where a favourite cardigan came from, what they used to wear for work or dancing. Clothes carry stories, and getting dressed can become a moment of conversation.

Make it a plan in HIVELIVE, with WE

Try it today

Tomorrow morning, lay out two outfits for the person you care for and let them choose which to wear.

Add it to your day

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